My executive function has been anthropomorphized into a morning meeting that nobody really wants to attend and could probably be an email. The board members try to convince the CEO that it does, in fact, have to run the company. The CEO is still unconvinced at this time.
Side note: I brought this up to a friend once, and he said: “I’m imagining tiny versions of you in business suits and glasses kind of zoning out in a very messy office. One of them is dancing on a desk.”
This is an incredibly accurate snapshot of the interior of my brain at any given moment. One of them is always dancing on a desk. Sometimes it’s a weird slow swaying, sometimes a whole lot of bopping around. There is not always music playing.
Anyway, let’s call this meeting to order.
CEO: “Wait, we just did brain stuff yesterday.”
BOARD: “You have to be a brain today, too.”
CEO: “It’s not worth it, everything is terrible and so are you.”
BOARD: “I know, brain, but you have to try.”
CEO: “Ughhhhhh FIIIIINE. Fuck you.”
CEO looks around and sputters out.
CEO (to no one in particular): “Was that okay?”
We’ll see you for tomorrow’s meeting.